A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the standin a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

She responded, Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Burns. I've known yousince you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a bigdisappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, you manipulatepeople, and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when youhaven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than atwo-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed acrossthe room and asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied, Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Treviņo since he wasa youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, hasbeen a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has adrinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and hislaw practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence, and calledboth counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, Ifeither of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!