A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch.

The seaman asks So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?
The pirate replies We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off.
Wow! said the seaman. What about your hook?
Well..., replied the pirate, While my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft in the middle east is the loss of the hand that steals
Incredible! remarked the seaman. How did you get the eyepatch?
A sea gull dropping fell into my eye., replied the pirate.
You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping? the sailor asked incredulously.
Well..., said the pirate, ...it was my first day with the hook.