A Frenchman, an Italian, and a Scotsman were out at the beach. Suddenlythey spied a beautiful mermaid sunning herself in a shoal.

The Frenchman walked up to her with desire in his eyes and said,Beautiful mermaid, have you ever been keesed?

The mermaid said No, I haven't.

So the Frenchman said, Zen I weel show you. And the Frenchman kissed thebeautiful mermaid passionately for half an hour.

Then the Italian spoke up. Mermaid, have-a you ever been fondled?

The mermaid said No,

So the Italian said Then I will-a show you. And the Italian passionatelyfondled the mermaid for half an hour.

Then the Scotsman spoke. Byootiful mairmaid, have ye ever been skrooed?

The mermaid said, No, I haven't.

To this the Scotsman replied, Well ye have now, the tide went out an hourago!